Right now we are supposed to have the big boys every other week for the entire week. In actuality we have them about 4 days every week. Their mom pretty much tells us when we have them based on her work schedule. While that kind of sucks for planning purposes, we have at least 1 kid at all times, so it's not a huge deal. Every few months she decides she's going to move 6 states away and just sign over the boys.
I am always bothered by this. First, why keep bringing it up to the kids? It stresses them out for no reason. Second, who just up and leaves their kids? Our state has a law that the custodial parent can not move with the children unless the non-custodial parent agrees. Therefore, she has to choose. Either stay here or leave the boys. Personally, I would stay (and did when I divorced my ex-husband). The boys are 14 and 15 this summer. She's got 5 years before the youngest is out of high school. Why not just wait?
Well, she has brought this up again. She wants to follow her boyfriend 6 states away because this is the only place he can get a job. Why that seems to be the only state in the country he can work also baffles me considering he's been working here for almost 2 years and it's not some obscure job he holds. Basically she just wants to put a man first and abandon her children.
This time it seems pretty real though. She told B she's been drafting a new custody agreement. (Yes, without his input. Nice, huh?) In it she'd like to put that if the boys get in trouble they have to go live with her. The boys don't want to go and she knows this. When B told me I thought it was a great idea! He couldn't figure out why at first. I pointed out that it makes our job easier. It's great motivation for them to do well and behave if they know they have to go somewhere they don't want to if they misbehave.
Exactly what the "in trouble" entails, who knows. That will have to be worked out along with a host of other details. I think A will do a lot better being with us full time. S, I have a feeling, is going to be the challenge.