I have been very even tempered this entire pregnancy. Until this week that is. Now I cry over nothing and everything irritates me. I've been sitting at work this morning crying all morning over nothing. I'm working away with tears just streaming down my face.
Even stranger, I feel like little A's stalker. All I want to do is spend time with him. I can't get enough of him this week. I want to spend every minute with him. I don't want to focus on anything else. I'd love to go get him from daycare and go to McDonalds for a McRib combo meal with fries and a HUGE coke and then go play somewhere. (Of course I can't take the time off work or eat the McDonalds thanks to my gestational diabetes.) I even got up in the middle of the night last night just to go lay with him and cuddle.
I seriously feel like a crazy woman this week. This morning I decided I resented the baby because this pregnancy is seriously limiting my ability to do the things I want to do with little A and I don't want someone taking my time away from my baby. Then I started crying because it's just inevitable that things will change. (Of course I want this baby and I'm not doubting my ability to love them both. I'm just crazy and hormonal.)
I don't tend to bond with my kids during pregnancy. I have to see them outside of me as a real person and it takes a few days. So, right now little A is my baby and E is still just the fetus of a difficult pregnancy. I'm full term today and I think E needs to come out sooner than later for all our sanity. I may go all paparazzi on little A if not.
No comments:
Post a Comment